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When Violence Begins At Home

Unfortunately, sometimes the one place you should be able to feel safe is the one place that you feel the most scared and vulnerable. For a lot of people home is where violence lives. It often starts out with a child that is abused by a parent or sees a parent abused by the other. It often does not end there either. Many times the abused become the abusers. They turn into the very thing that they were so afraid of to begin with. But why does this happen?

Some people believe that if as a child one sees abuse and accepts this behavior as normal then they will act that way towards their families in adulthood. Seeing this kind of violence every day sometimes makes it seem like the way that parents are supposed to act towards each other or the way a parent should treat their child. Although this assumption is erroneous, many believe it to be true so they model their parenting after the only role models they had growing up.

Other schools of thought believe that the rage caused by seeing so much violence causes the subject to become violent. Also it is believed that some violent traits can be passed down genetically. This makes it even harder for the subject to control their violent ways and stop themselves. They often even use all of these things as excuses for why they do what they do. They can rationalize it by saying that their father raised them that way and they turned out fine. They just cannot see what is right in front of them because they were so traumatized.

Sometimes the subject of the abuse does not carry on the tradition. If they see it as wrong and not normal while growing up than they often have the ability to act the opposite towards their own families. They never hit or lash out in anger because they do not want their children to grow up afraid in the same way that they did. These individuals know that it was wrong and refuse to let it happen to their own children. These people are still extremely affected by what happened to them in childhood, they are just affected in the opposite way.

One way to put it is, you either become that which you hate or the opposite of it. Either way this can affect families for generations. Violence tends to be a cycle passed down for years. This cycle is hard to break if the abused turns into the abuser. All you can really do is hope that these people get help and reach out so that they do not continue the cycle.

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